


Sexbanged

by vampgirltish



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: (fyi the dan/you comes later you gotta be patient YOU GOTTA WORK FOR IT), F/M, Secrets, Tags to be added, alternate identity au, blogging and journals, superhero au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-07-23 17:46:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7473798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampgirltish/pseuds/vampgirltish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan Avidan was your best friend, and you had known each other for years upon years. You stuck with him since college, since his past struggles and heartbreaks.<br/>Danny Sexbang was a superhero who protected the Glendale area by night, much to the benefit of the police officers, and kept criminals on their toes with his speculated superpowers and mysterious personality.<br/>Shocking to you, these two actually had a lot in common.<br/>[Superhero AU]</p><p>[Note: This story has been discontinued.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sexbanged

 

> _Happy Monday, Sexbangers!_
> 
> _There's actually a few new updates of Danny Sexbang news. It's really exciting to see more stuff come in. As I talked about in last week's journal, there'd been a recent stagnation because people were having trouble finding our spandex-clad hero. It makes me wonder if he knows he's getting this kind of publicity, or if he cares. Oh no, imagine if he was reading this... Ha. I hope not. But if he is, hey, welcome, enjoy your stay... The usual._
> 
> _So we have a video from a reddit user named algorathor, who took this on their phone. I've attached a link right here for you guys, but for those of you who are too lazy or unable to view the link right now, I'll explain._
> 
> _It's a pretty dark video, but the opening shot is just of a park. I think it's the park downtown, the one with the big fountain. A few seconds pass and then there's a figure running, all in dark clothes, and he's holding a purse. A voice can be heard, "Help! I've been robbed! Someone help!" As we all know, any call for help is quickly answered by our hero! Moments later, we can see our hero, Danny Sexbang, running after him. It seems like he's got a new costume now... Sparkly maybe? But that doesn't help with being sneaky so maybe not. It might just be the lightning. Anyways, he runs along blah blah, catches the guy, gets the lady's purse, and gives it back. The woman hugs him and then they talk for a bit. It's too quiet to really hear but it sort of sounds like this:_
> 
> **Lady: "Thank you so much!**
> 
> **DS: "No problem...**
> 
> **Lady: "*indecipherable*...handsome**
> 
> **DS: "Thank you.. Uh...**
> 
> **Lady: "*indecipherable**
> 
> **DS: "Sure, c'mon.**
> 
> _Then, her and Danny walked off the way Danny came from. I wonder what they said!_
> 
> _Another person on Twitter tweeted me this photo of Danny climbing up to one of the roofs for an overview of the city. Again, it's blurry, but still... It's definitely him, right down to the sneakers! I thiiiink it was taken on Saturday, two or three days after I made my last blog post at least. I don't know for sure though. The twitter user sent it to me yesterday, so I don't have an exact date. They just told me: "I took this the other night, didn't know you were into the DS lore." Obviously I am! Haha. _
> 
> _And our last update in the DS news actually comes from another person's blog. I'll link it right here, but I'm gonna take a couple quotes from the post just so people can get the gist of it._

At this moment, your writing of your blog was interrupted by Dan storming his way out of the Grump room. He glances at you on your laptop, "Writing more for your Sexbanged blog?"

"Yeah, there's been some new stuff so I'm updating now that I've gotten a few things together to compile."

Dan rolls his eyes, "I'm still surprised people read that. Like, no offense to you because I know you love writing it, but isn't that stuff usually in tabloids?"

You shrug, "Maybe. But my blog gets a lot of hits every day and people send me donations and shit, so it has to be worth something, right?"

"...I guess so. I think the whole Danny Sexbang thing is dumb. Probably just some guy who thinks he has superpowers but he doesn't."

"Funny you should say that...because the next thing I was going to write about in my post was someone speculating what powers DS is supposed to have."

"...I still also think it's dumb you call him DS."

"Shuddup, Dan."

Dan wandered off with Arin, calling over his shoulder that he was going to be grabbing lunch and that he'd text you when he got there asking what you wanted. You yelled back a thanks and went back to writing.

 

> _And our last update in the DS news actually comes from another person's blog. I'll link it right here, but I'm gonna take a couple quotes from the post just so people can get the gist of it._
> 
> _This blog post actually has a lot to do with the speculative powers of DS. They have some pretty interesting arguments for a lot of them._
> 
> **Enhanced dexterity: This one is a given, considering how many flips that DS does.**
> 
> _I have to agree with this. DS has done a looot of flips and jumps and kicks, and he's gotta be pretty dexterous for that. The blog also cites martial arts skills, which is interesting. Did he take like, karate on the side? There's a lot we don't know about DS still._
> 
> __ **Telekinesis: I don't have a lot of evidence for this one, but we've seen him flying on objects, and he can't fly on his own.**
> 
> _A weak argument but it does make sense. I'm not so sure about this one until we get some proof of him literally sliding stuff around with his brain._
> 
> **Sexy powers: Like sexual inducement, subliminal seduction, magnetism, siren song, mind control... That kind of stuff. He's demonstrated he can seduce **ladies and he clearly has the ability to convince people. So...mind control.****
> 
> _...Presented without comment. Mind control....damn._
> 
> **Super speed: In the early DS days and in the recent DS days, we've seen him running pretty fast. There was awhile where it seemed like his super speed wasn't working. Maybe there's a limit to it? I'm not too sure.**
> 
> _Maybe the super speed only works if he's been working out, or something. That might be dumb...I'm not sure. Either way, DS having super speed does make sense._
> 
> _I'd like to thank the writer of that blog for sending it to me and letting me cite it and comment on it! If you like DS commentary, subscribe to their blog too. I really enjoyed writing this post and I look forward to some new stuff. I have a feeling that something big is going to come up soon... but I'm not sure. Could just be a weird hunch._
> 
> _Til next time, have a nice day/night, Sexbangers. I'll catch y'all on the flip!_

You clicked the post button after having a quick read-through of your work, checking for errors. Snapping your laptop shut, you sighed, excited for the future. What else did Danny Sexbang have to offer? He was a pretty mysterious superhero.

* * *

 

Dan lived alone for one specific reason, and that specific reason was hidden in the back of his closet. Of course, he hadn't expected to hear his phone go off with a ding. Checking his email, he saw that (y/n)'s blog had updated. He reads through the article, and chuckles a little before reaching the last section... Oh.  _Oh_.

Dan stood, heading to the back of his closet, getting dressed and stepping out into the dark night. The cicadas chirped and the stars twinkled. A few bugs tried to buzz near his face and Dan swatted them away.

He heard a call, "Help! Someone help me! I'm being m--" before their voice cut off and was muffled, followed by a strained scream.

Dan tied on his mask carefully, and pulled his hair back into a ponytail.

 _Danny_ set out into the night, rushing to the alley to find the person who needed his help.

**Author's Note:**

> not gonna lie, I need to stop starting new projects. but yeah. take this garbage.


End file.
